Weakness of Heart and Falling Prey to Temptation

 In this section, I hope to write about boring days. I feel that this is an important topic because, while there are days that stand out to us because of an outstanding event that occurred within them, a strong emotion that we felt, or a new memory that we formed, there are plenty of days that I experience that, for the most part, aren't memorable. The day feels and remains ordinary, and is easily forgotten.

Today, I'm quite ashamed of my procrastination throughout the day, and how lax I was with myself while working, by permitting myself to get distracted easily. I wish, looking back, that I had been stricter with myself. But what does this phrase mean, "looking back"? After all, this isn't the first time I've procrastinated; I've become intimate with the hollow desire for excitement that provokes distraction adn its sharp sense of regret that follows; I've felt its remorse that lasts hours, and sparks dissatisfaction within my heart; I've encountered the same feeling over and over again, and don't seem to learn to utterly avoid it. Perhaps this is a mere indication that I need to work harder, and reflects a weakness in my character that I ought to prevent before it becomes a larger problem.

At its core, I think that such procrastination is nothing more than untamed satanic temptation knocking at the perch of my gate of consciousness. I hold the key, and decide who I permit to allow to sway my decisions. Perhaps the sweet, yet noxious allure of faux happiness was enough to become entranced by such satanic tricks, even though I knew the allure to be misleading. Altogether, I need to endure the ignoble suffering that I have incurred through my lack of self-discipline, and subsequently aim to increase my strength of heart, with the help of my God.