Not Confronting One's Emotions

 Weird as this topic sounds, I promise it is rooted in reality, and not some mere abstract philosophical musing. What I mean by not confronting one’s emotions is postponing the inevitable, usually negative emotion that one knows they are bound to experience. It is an action that reflects a glimpse of our illogical but wishful thinking that ignoring a certain impending bad fortune would somehow prevent its occurrence or alleviate its effects. Or maybe it is an indication of ourselves sympathizing with our current state of being, and pursuing an expedient solution rather than fixing the larger glaring problem.

Procrastinating is one such example of such non-confrontational attitude with respect to one’s emotions, but not the full topic. Generally, not confronting one’s emotions means to be lacking the self-discipline and willful effort required to make an adjustment to one’s planning, accept that the state of one’s plans and emotions would be less than what would be immediately preferable.

I’ll give an example from today. Tonight, around 8pm, I realized that I had to finish a math homework assignment that is due today at midnight (finished it now). I was planning earlier to watch some YouTube videos and not dedicate my time to work, which is notably less stimulating and rewarding, but necessary as part of a daily routine to maintain a sense of meaning, responsibility, and motivation (after all, struggle and difficulty is what brings out the value in fun, and paints its outlines with vibrant, stimulating color). My decision to finish the homework is one that I am happy to have taken, because it liberated my present self from such a burden. However, I’ve, even recently, often repeated the mistake of acting selfishly in the interest of my present self, without regard for my future person. For example, I chose today not to complete my exercise routine; this was not in my plan, but out of laziness, and contempt for the pain and discomfort, both physical and mental, that my exercise routine puts me through, I avoided it because I simply did not wish to confront such a pleasant emotion. What I know now, and knew at the time, earlier this evening, though a part of me was really begging me to ignore this knowledge, was the realization that negotiation with myself is necessary. It would be tough to convince myself that choosing to exercise that day would be fun, but perhaps making an argument regarding the long-term value of exercise, as well as the suboptimality of the situation that would result if I had failed to negotiate, the situation I am in now, would have been more in the interest of my present self.

Thus, because I and most humans have long-term goals, I feel that not confronting one’s emotions is a natural mistake, but one that nonetheless ought to be combated with passion.