Moments of Desperation

 When the avalanche comes crumbling down, life feels miserable. Emotions are wildly affected, and the mind becomes clouded with the crisis at hand. Everything around is tainted with the hue of the source of your grief, and averting your attention from it is tough. I had one such experience last night, where I experienced feelings of stress and sadness that came pouring out of me. I cried loudly, unlike I ever had before. I mean, I've cried loudly, but yesterday, whether due to sadness or as a symptom of sickness or cold, my hands and knees started to tremble, and I was shaking. Even my dog was surprised as she heard my wails, and I've not often seen my dog surprised.

As I let my cry out, I was expecting a flow of emotion, but not as long and sustained as what I experienced. The emotions I had harbored in my heart for the past twenty or so minutes, and the growing feeling of anxiousness concerning an argument ongoing in my parents' bedroom climaxed and displayed itself in the form of roaring wailing, the type of cry a baby uses to command attention of those around it, and have a powerful effect on the world around it, being otherwise limited in speech, size, dexterity, and strength.

The aftermath of the avalanche is disastrous, and covered in rubble, to which order must be restored. It symbolizes a sudden and crashing loss of order in the world and the failure of the organized systems we put in place--our balance, lifestyle, long-term goals, to fail us, and to leave us doubtful of whether we can get the world back in order. But this aftermath is also peaceful and brings out a clarity of mind that is conducive to the organization of thoughts, and the formation of a plan to get the life back in order.