Resentment and Guilt in Anna Karenina

 Nicholas Levin in Anna Karenina is a character that caught my attention, when I read the first description of him that appeared in the novel. His character is the type to elicit pity. He tried hard once in life, by setting his aim on a lofty goal, by sacrificing earthly pleasures, by dedicating himself to becoming a monk. But others ridiculed him. He lost his ambition, and turned to alcohol and other base pleasures that he knows to be wrong. Nicholas's brother Levin (ugh these names are so confusing, I mean the Levin who loves Kitty) even feels sorry for his brother, and regrets having ever laughed at Nicholas.

Nicholas reminds me a lot of the type of person that Jordan Peterson tells you not to be. Brooding. Resentful. Convinced that the world is against them. Fearing death. Wandering aimlessly. And, worst of all, resenting the world and oneself beyond forgiveness. I wish Nicholas would have gotten back and tried up again. And fallen again. And stood up and tried again.

Nicholas's brother Levin certainly doesn't give up trying. Rejected by Kitty, he goes back to his home and starts exercising. It makes me happy that he is still putting in effort, and, though dejected, hasn't lost sight of his sole lifelong goal of creating a family. Another interesting facet of Levin is his view of his parents as ideal. As Levin says that the memory of his mother is so pure that he scarcely wishes to touch it. Jordan Peterson also talks about this.

Anna Karenina's temptation by Count Vronsky is something that doesn't go over the head of the reader. (But seriously, what kind of a jerk even is Vronsky? Absolutely forsaking Kitty, man. What a player.) It's funny how Anna, even after seeing Dolly's misery, contemplating it, and realizing the devastating effect of extramarital temptation on family bonds, one that can nearly tear a family apart, she still tries convincing herself that her interactions with Vronsky have been free of guilt. But her actions are not free of guilt, and she knows it. She knows how she has hurt Kitty, and she knows exactly the degree to which her temptations could hurt her if taken to an extreme. She knows that she will have to repent and be forgiven by her husband.

Funny how I can criticize Anna just fine, realize her struggle with such precision, and proscribe the guilt-free and correct path, but fail to avoid the same pitfalls myself. I was supposed to do some research work today, but procrastinated. I am guilty of procrastinating, and wish on some level of my thought-process that I could get rid of it or convince myself that I didn't waste my time.