Lazy Saturdays

Before beginning to write, I thought for three minutes about what to write. Having not generated any tenable ideas for this post, I looked to the present and thought I'd write about my life as it is. 

Today is Friday night, so I've been thinking ahead to my day tomorrow, Saturday. I've noticed a pattern--that my Saturdays tend to be full of procrastination. It's not that I decide to write the day off and take a break; it's worse. I set goals for myself that I am unable to fulfill. For example, I might decide to get through my physics homework that day, but never get it done. It's a dirty habit that spoils the mood.

It's not that easy either to write the day off, strange as that seems. I seem to be inevitably drawn to my computer, and to want to entertain myself, such as by watching YouTube. I find that there's something relaxing and salutary even in intentional relaxation, such as deciding to sit outside and read a book. There's nothing particularly productive about reading a book; at least, it doesn't mark very many things off the todo list. Nonetheless, the act of actually going outside and reading that book is an act of fulfillment; it is an indicator of a successful plan.

Procrastination, on the other hand, inherently sets oneself up for failure. One tells themself that they intend to be working on something useful (i.e. something that that can help mark something off the day's todo list), which is often something immediately less desirable than entertainment. Indulging in the act of procrastination is an act of high immediate reward pleasure; but there is an inevitable crash.

The crash, for me, comes later in the day, when the sun has set and I begin to miss the valuable hours I had in the day to engage in productive tasks. So soon after engaging in the acts that constitute procrastination, I regret them. I find out that I had been deceiving myself that those acts of procrastination were more useful than working. Most painfully, I regret that I could have lightened my workload or intentionally decided to take some time off, and still have successfully completed my plan and be more prepared than I am now. It would have been so much better if I had set a goal, even one that was not so lofty, and followed through with it.

So, anyway, that's how I've come to feel about my Saturdays in the past few weeks.