Ravit's Blog

I hesitated a bit before starting to write about this topic because it was a bit uncomfortable, but I ultimately saw no rational reason not to write about it. The interaction of Levin and his brother Nicholas during Nicholas's dying moments in Anna Karenina  was, I think, a crucial one because it reshaped Levin's spiritual attitudes towards the ending of one's life. The motif of death is a salient one throughout the novel, and many characters come into contact with the idea (Levin, Nikolas, Anna, Vronsky). I'm not quite sure what the meaning behind the Nicholas's slow expiration (to use mild terminology) was. But, it was a dramatic one, as can be expected from the narrator describing a moment of heightened emotional state for the characters. Nicholas suffered for a long time and wished himself for his inevitable death to come quickly in his most agonizing moments. The fluctuations in his health and the hope other characters such as Levin and Kitty had that he might ...

 Anna's decision to go to Italy saddens me tremendously. It saddened me to see her willingly give into pernicious temptation at the cusp of her recovery. She had fought hard to repent and overcome her unhealthy addiction of meeting with Vronsky but let that go. She had shamed herself too much and could hardly even forgive herself; she had even come to believe that she herself was bad. Ultimately, she made a decision she knew to be wrong; by going with Vronsky, she certainly evaded her suffering but replaced it in its stead with empty pleasure and frivolties. She knew that her life would have no meaning without her son, and yet she forsakes him. So sad, but so relatable. By contrast, the intimacy between Levin and Kitty is so pleasant and euphonious. Both of them endured tremendous suffering just to achieve closeness and marriage. When I read the moments the two shared before their marriage, I felt that Tolstoy presented their relationship in such a dramatic and awe-inspring manner ...

 It's been a terribly long time since the last time I've written a blog post. This week has been a lot less stressful for me. I can't say this for sure, but I suspect that my decision to remain proactive played a large positive role. Yesterday, I finished the Physics homework due tonight, which I likely would have otherwise been doing now. Must less stress. Ah. I also began studying for my Physics midterm this Friday early, and have finishing up tasks ahead of their deadline. I feel on top of my day now, as cliche as that sounds. I don't feel as if I'm drowning in work. There's something ignoble about procrastination and noble about proactivity. If I'm rushing to get an assignment done at the last minute, I regret not doing it earlier. I hardly even enjoy the process of doing the assignment. Conversely, when I get things done early, I can leave them as a gift to my future self. I often forget about doing it, but upon remembering what it would be like doing t...

 I feel very confused at the end of the day today. I met all of my expectations for today, except that of exercise. Put in a good day of work: finished physics homework, took cs and physics textbook notes, watched my cs lecture. I practiced the piano. I ate well. I'm writing this blog post now. I succeeded to a large degree at the goals I've been working on for the past couple of weeks: waking early and limiting my chess. Something feels incomplete still. Maybe it's that I didn't go for a run today. Maybe it's that I didn't work enough. Maybe it's that I didn't wake early enough. Maybe I took too long of a break at 9pm. Maybe it's that I didn't restrain myself enough. Maybe it's that I had too much fun. Maybe it's that I'm so overwhelmed by my experiences. I don't know what. I had a strange dream on Sunday morning, three nights ago. I only remember 3 snippets of the dream of about 1-2 seconds. Maybe there was more to the dream, bu...

There was an interesting part of Anna Karenina that stood out to me-- the part where Levin goes out to mow the grass with the peasants. He found the work painful at first, but felt as though the work alleviated a burden from him. He enjoyed the moments when he forgot about the pain of the mowing and the difficulty of using the scythe and became lost in his work. Tolstoy alludes to some sort of external force pushing Levin up the hill when he would not have been able to climb on his own. I don't know whether Tolstoy was a religious person, but the experience that Levin puts himself through out with the peasants reminds me of the archetypal journey of suffering and sacrifice that is depicted differently throughout religions--Christ in Christianity, Buddha in Buddhism, Ram during his exile in Ramayana. There seems to something very fundamental to human meaning that emerges from sacrifice and persistence through suffering sustained over a long period of time. For that reason, Levin is ...

I tried thinking of reflective, substantive topics, but found it tough to think of any interesting thoughts I've had lately. So, I'll just write about my day. (Aside: I think talking about my day is a good way to be reflective. After writing the remainder of this section, I've remembered many thoughts I felt throughout the day. I feel a sense of gratitude for the schedule and lifestyle I can afford to keep up. Today was a fun day, and not an especially busy one; I primarily spent my working time in preparation for a CS35L midterm I had. For some reason, I felt at ease even when preparing for and taking the midterm.) Today (May 4), I woke up at 7:30 and spent some time before 1pm (7:45-9:00, 9:30-10:30, 12:40-1:00) preparing for my CS35L Midterm. 1pm-2pm I sat through and took notes on a Physics lecture. 2pm I took the midterm, which was difficult as expected. I'm happy to at least have finished, since it was not expected for us to get through all of the questions. I enj...